This interview is worth reading since it contains some pretty important conversations. An exercise of retrospection of her career until her 20’s. The interviewer is Nagahori Atsuo. An excerpt below:
Original transcript from Akabaneouji.
http://akabaneouji.blogspot.cl/2011/03/no-title_26.html
?This time, the song Thank you My teens is included in new album CAN’T BUY MY LOVE. Since you turned 20 in March, please tell us some recollections of your life as a teenager.
My teens were very hectic! It was a mix of feelings. I always found myself struggling between two emotions. Struggling willfully, I got tired excessively. Before my encounter with music, my future was completely dark .
?You started playing street lives by the age of 15, right?
In the beginning I just sang because it was fun. And then I turned to Bianconero’s presentations and CD sales. I helped selling goods and distributing pamphlets. Then they let me sing as an opening performer. I think that was by the time I turned 16.
?After that you succeeded the audition and immediately started the preparations for the debut right?
From my debut at the age of 17 to my first album FROM ME TO YOU, I was fumbling around, or should I say, it was a year of exploration, trial and error and conflicts. I was always feeling like I didn’t quite understand some things. Making songs and giving interviews for TV, radio and magazines. It was a period I remember with a feeling of despair.
?Any events that left a strong impression?
By the end of summer, I went out after finishing recording. The air is fresh in the night, right? I become nostalgic when I remember going back home in the summer nights. But those times were so busy I was always thinking something or other. Going out was also scary (Haha)
?Streets in Tokyo scared you?
I didn’t know the places at all. I also didn’t have many acquaintances. I didn’t know how dangerous it could be. I kept coming and going from home to the studio as I could not change the pace. Moreover, I felt a strong wariness towards people, what do they want from me? What’s the current situation? There were things I didn’t quite understand. Around the debut days, people who knew me used to tell me I looked like a cat bullied by humans. (Haha)
You didn’t feel the gratification of a dream come true?
By the time of the debut someone on a TV show asked me “What is a dream to you?” I asked with a bit of a sharp tone “Have you looked the word Dream on a dictionary? It’s about something you know it will not come true!” Remembering that now, it was a very displeasing answer. I think it was aggressive, but, like I thought, It was not a dream. More than a dream, music was the only way I had to keep on living. I thought about it in a realistic way. I was not worried that it could be the only way. To me really there was nothing but music. That’s why I think I have come along with a strong feeling.
?Is there a change in the relation you have with the music you used to love singing now that you have become a professional?
In Fukuoka, singing was fun. It was something that distracted me from loneliness. It feels as if music rescued me. I knew music, it felt so close to me. But now music and myself are steadily piling up inside of me. In those days I was able to learn many different perceptions of music. I felt like I was learning more and more about music.
?What do you mean by a different perception?
The fun of wishing to entertain others was increasing. In the beginning I didn’t have the intention to do that, so I got confused. When I realized the joy of being entertained, singing became fun again.
?You could say music became a tool of communication with others?
It’s because I’m very timid, I feel I’m starting to get better at it, but there’s still a long way to go. I want to have fun freely.
?Well then, can you tell us who have you met that has given you a great influence?
The most important is probably the director. Whenever it seems I’m losing my way or halting to a stop, or even trying to run away, he will contain me without fail. I also dare to do the wrong things, but still, he is always there, teaching me so many things. I respect him immensely.
?Have you ever felt like you don’t want to sing?
Yes I have. Right after my debut, I didn’t understand the meaning of singing. There were times when I sang feeling empty too. To sing feeling like this is disrespectful to the people who’s there to listen, it’s disrespectful towards music and I felt awfully disgusted about myself too. I thought I shouldn’t sing feeling this way, But I remember the feeling I had when I started to sing, I think about how everyone who came to listen must be feeling. So singing steadily became enjoyable
?What do you think about the experience of making a movie in the second year?
I think it’s something really big. Movies and music are completely different worlds. It was not me, I lived the life of “Amane Kaoru” I went there in a transparent state, not holding my own self. In the movie, I knew I had to use my body to express, but rearranging myself after being destroyed into pieces was very difficult. Now, I think I should have put my current self, seeing and feeling many things and put my own experiences, but I could not afford to do that.
?Around what time did you become aware of your surroundings? Regarding what you said about using your own current self.
It was recently. I became full of curiosity, I want to know many different things, I should experience many things. If I could go to see other artists concerts I wanna go every day (Haha). I think my true nature has come out at last.
?What has been your biggest change?
If I compare music with a mountain, we know there are many ways to climb it, right? My prior self only knew one way to the top. She climbed recklessly up a strict path. But now I know there are easy ways too. I remembered you can also admire the scenery as you climb. I want to allow myself to genuinely look and feel the scenery more than before.
?And now on the contrary, what has not changed?
I wonder what is it… Probably, that I solved the gloomy feeling I had when singing. Is not that I kicked the gloomy feelings somewhere else, but it is thanks to music that those feelings disappeared. When I face people I feel more gloomy, I feel like I will lose the dear people around me. That’s why I think music was so important.
?Your feelings towards music have not changed?
I still feel like music have rescued me. I really feel like I couldn’t have lived without music. And now too, considering the good meanings and bad meanings, that hasn’t changed. And then, I usually think about music, and want to learn a lot of songs, and make songs. Before I notice I find myself enjoying humming a song. I love music and it’s a simple feeling that has not changed. That’s all. And I don’t think this feeling will ever change.
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The director she mentions in the interview is, of course, Hisashi kondo.
Considering how hard the first year alone in Tokyo was for YUI, I wonder how many amazing untold stories happened between them.
There is no doubt yui’s relation with music was of life and death.
I can’t talk for myself, but I’m sure becoming a parent change your priorities completely. I wonder where is music in her list now?
